did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
