Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
