Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize