Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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