listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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