Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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