margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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