The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize