I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
