oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
