woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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