Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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