I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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