Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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