I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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