Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize