Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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