just come out here and I will go home with you...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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