ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
