Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
