well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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