So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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