I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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