none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
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She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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