Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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