I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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