What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
