the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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