my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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