So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
