for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize