$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Everclear isn't food dammit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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