i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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