It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
