She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
