Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Threesome in a minivan. New low
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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