my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
