Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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