I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had to cum in my sink.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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