so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
