so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
