Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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