I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
