The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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