you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
