I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
