I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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