He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
