i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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