An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
