I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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