it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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