I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
