omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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