I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
