At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
