Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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