Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize