I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
two words: eviction party
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
