well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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