i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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