You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
