The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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