addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
