she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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