the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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