ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
